For Wei Wuxian he hasn't experienced the lotus pond but he knows he gets to spend some time there thanks to his conversation with Lan Wangji. He doesn't know the son's name or the offerings. He hasn't been offered chickens and although his memories don't match up, his feelings are starting to. This man helped him break through the walls around his own heart and gave him reasons to look forward to his future.
For him, the last thing he got when he was home was a sign of rejection when Lan Wangji would rather be unconscious then kissing him. Perhaps that was why he reacted so badly when the other Lan Wangji confessed. Because it seemed contradictory to what he knew. He wishes he had the same memories that this one did. He wants to know that there are good moments in his future to make up for the heartache in his past.
And he has made mistakes while in this place. He hurt both Lan Wangji with his insecurities and uncertainties. And now he vows to make up for that. The last thing he ever wanted was to upset them. For him..a life without Lan Wangji by his side is one only met with sadness. And he doesn't want to walk on that bridge any longer.
He smiles as he listens to that heartbeat. No matter what it sounds like, it makes his own heart feel calm whenever he hears it. As if this man really can heal his soul.
"It is beating fast and it sounds strong but also scared. It's afraid of being rejected and maybe a little sad because it thinks it was. But it doesn't have to be so afraid."
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For him, the last thing he got when he was home was a sign of rejection when Lan Wangji would rather be unconscious then kissing him. Perhaps that was why he reacted so badly when the other Lan Wangji confessed. Because it seemed contradictory to what he knew. He wishes he had the same memories that this one did. He wants to know that there are good moments in his future to make up for the heartache in his past.
And he has made mistakes while in this place. He hurt both Lan Wangji with his insecurities and uncertainties. And now he vows to make up for that. The last thing he ever wanted was to upset them. For him..a life without Lan Wangji by his side is one only met with sadness. And he doesn't want to walk on that bridge any longer.
He smiles as he listens to that heartbeat. No matter what it sounds like, it makes his own heart feel calm whenever he hears it. As if this man really can heal his soul.
"It is beating fast and it sounds strong but also scared. It's afraid of being rejected and maybe a little sad because it thinks it was. But it doesn't have to be so afraid."