At the mention of the other, his double, and counterpart, Lan Wangji's inwardly flinched and he frowns, there's a moment of a sullen expression. There is a pain in his heart so profound that it pulls at his heartstrings. Perhaps jealousy. He did bizarre things out of jealousy such as stealing an innocent's girl pink purse to call it his own and did everything he can in his memory after he's gone to remember him by.
But there's no anger. Just a fear that if he accidentally distances himself away from him, then it makes sense for Wei Ying to find comfort and answers in the other man. It wasn't fair, but in the end, he must surrender, accept his defeat, sees his weakness, and forgive. He meditates on it, draw on inner strength and set his own selfishness aside. What he could say? Stop seeing him and see only me?
More than anything he draws inner strength from his self-control and his miserable attempt to reign mastery over his emotions. He takes a deep breath. More than anything, he needs him. To hold him like this. To hear him talk, laugh, and have fun and don't think about the collective sorrows. The thirteen years of his absence is suffering enough.
Speaking from his heart, he needs to let Wei Ying know that there's only him in his heart and nobody else and that in the end, it will be him, the Lan Wangji that he'll be returning home in the end.
With quiet strength, he speaks slowly. His kiss are like a balm to his soul. Compassionate and kindness, and a soft tenderness his Wei Ying needs now.
"Wei Ying. You are special. Very special. You are the only one that I let into my heart. I meant what I said that I love you. That I loved you and nobody else. You are my home. When you're hurt, I get hurt. When you're happy, I'm happy. I just can't read your mind, so when you need something like that...please. Tell me. Because more than anything else, my reason is always you. If you're lost or in doubt, we can figure things out together."
He's not content with a light kiss on the cheek. His own heart is full too, too full of bitter, happiness, and hurt mingled all at once from the years they know each other. After the kiss, he steals a kiss back, leaning over, dipping in the close space between them for a desperate kiss on the lips.
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But there's no anger. Just a fear that if he accidentally distances himself away from him, then it makes sense for Wei Ying to find comfort and answers in the other man. It wasn't fair, but in the end, he must surrender, accept his defeat, sees his weakness, and forgive. He meditates on it, draw on inner strength and set his own selfishness aside. What he could say? Stop seeing him and see only me?
More than anything he draws inner strength from his self-control and his miserable attempt to reign mastery over his emotions. He takes a deep breath. More than anything, he needs him. To hold him like this. To hear him talk, laugh, and have fun and don't think about the collective sorrows. The thirteen years of his absence is suffering enough.
Speaking from his heart, he needs to let Wei Ying know that there's only him in his heart and nobody else and that in the end, it will be him, the Lan Wangji that he'll be returning home in the end.
With quiet strength, he speaks slowly. His kiss are like a balm to his soul. Compassionate and kindness, and a soft tenderness his Wei Ying needs now.
"Wei Ying. You are special. Very special. You are the only one that I let into my heart. I meant what I said that I love you. That I loved you and nobody else. You are my home. When you're hurt, I get hurt. When you're happy, I'm happy. I just can't read your mind, so when you need something like that...please. Tell me. Because more than anything else, my reason is always you. If you're lost or in doubt, we can figure things out together."
He's not content with a light kiss on the cheek. His own heart is full too, too full of bitter, happiness, and hurt mingled all at once from the years they know each other. After the kiss, he steals a kiss back, leaning over, dipping in the close space between them for a desperate kiss on the lips.