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Wei Wuxian ([personal profile] scaredofdogs) wrote in [community profile] angryhearts 2020-06-21 05:12 am (UTC)

If Lan wangji asked him to never see the other version again, Wei Wuxian would have many issues with it. He would agree but it would leave a wound on his heart that would not likely heal. For him, the two of them are the same. His feelings for Lan Wangji transcend all things, even a difference of worlds or lives or memories. He can't really explain it in words, but he knows that it would be hard to exist in this space knowing he would never be allowed to see both of them anytime he wanted.

As he kisses him back, Wei Wuxian's arms tighten around him. He feels like that kiss opens up his heart like a dam, the emotions rushing out of him like water. He wants to be able to enjoy this feeling all the time, every moment of every day. This embrace that he wants to grow so familiar with, those lips that seems to perfectly envelope his own.

As those words roll over in his brain. His life is Lan Wangji's life and vice versa. Perhaps it's been that way for a long time, far longer then he even was aware of. The stolen kiss on the mountain, the promise with the lanterns, the week in the cave. All moments that shaped who they were together. Ever since that time in the cave, his own thoughts had become more and more wrapped up in Lan Wangji. Wondering what he was doing, where he was traveling, if he would ever be able to show him Lotus Pier. He wanted to spend time with him even when he thought the other man hated him.

But now he knows that was never the case. This man has loved him for years. And it isn't fair..because Wei Wuxian couldn't be there for him. Those 13 years he was dead was like a snap of a finger for him. He doesn't remember them and never had to deal with the pain of all that time apart. And so the guilt he feels is because he made the man have to wait all that time.

As they break from the kiss, Wei Wuxian stays close, resting his forehead against the other man's. "From now on, Lan Zhan, I'll never keep anything from you. No lies, no secrets, no doubts, no fears. If you want to know what is on my mind at any moment, I will tell you."

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