[ He winces a little at that, his hand tightening on his flute for a moment before he takes in a deep breath and lets it out. As reluctant as he is to admit that he's struggling with restraint, he doesn't want Wei Wuxian to think it's his fault - not looking after himself properly aside, anyway. ]
I apologize, I - am not sure why I seem to be so angry. It isn't with you. I have my own regrets, Wei-gongzi. I -
[ How can he begin to explain that he wishes he had done more to speak out against the Jin clan's actions after the Sunshot Campaign? How can he say that too often he compromised, that in trying to keep the peace among everyone he only facilitated further violence? How can he speak of the delicate political situation he had been in, of the devastation of his clan and the level of support he could not afford to offer, without making it sound like he's only offering excuses?
No. What is done is done, and his regrets there cannot be changed. What can be changed is the slow realization that's come from Wei Wuxian's return, from Jin Guangyao's betrayal, even from his talk with Wangji after arriving here - there are times when being implicit is not enough to be sure that he was truly understood. ]
When I came to visit you in Yiling, and I spoke about the effects of your actions on those who care about you, I didn't intend it is as a recrimination. I disagreed with your methods, but I believed your purpose was just. I wanted to reach a common ground, to tell you that there were those in Cloud Recesses who cared about you and wanted to help, even if they didn't know how to express it. I have had some time for self reflection, and have come to suspect I didn't adequately express myself, either.
no subject
I apologize, I - am not sure why I seem to be so angry. It isn't with you. I have my own regrets, Wei-gongzi. I -
[ How can he begin to explain that he wishes he had done more to speak out against the Jin clan's actions after the Sunshot Campaign? How can he say that too often he compromised, that in trying to keep the peace among everyone he only facilitated further violence? How can he speak of the delicate political situation he had been in, of the devastation of his clan and the level of support he could not afford to offer, without making it sound like he's only offering excuses?
No. What is done is done, and his regrets there cannot be changed. What can be changed is the slow realization that's come from Wei Wuxian's return, from Jin Guangyao's betrayal, even from his talk with Wangji after arriving here - there are times when being implicit is not enough to be sure that he was truly understood. ]
When I came to visit you in Yiling, and I spoke about the effects of your actions on those who care about you, I didn't intend it is as a recrimination. I disagreed with your methods, but I believed your purpose was just. I wanted to reach a common ground, to tell you that there were those in Cloud Recesses who cared about you and wanted to help, even if they didn't know how to express it. I have had some time for self reflection, and have come to suspect I didn't adequately express myself, either.