What was he supposed to have thought? That the highly esteemed Lan Wangji actually had an interest in the nothing, minor servant of the Jiang clan? A servant who was constantly in trouble, and flagrantly disregarded the rules of his sect? And that was just thinking about their social standing, Lan Zhan was also one of the best looking(the best looking in his opinion) cultivators anywhere, and the one place he'd felt like they stood on equal ground, he'd lost when he'd given up his golden core.

"Mm, maybe so, maybe so... but Lan Zhan was the only one who would never look at me," he smirks a little, thinking back on it, and reaches over to put a hand over Lan Zhan's, squeezing it gently.

"So, maybe I was a little obsessed with getting his attention. And then trying to hold onto it for as long as I could," he couldn't put words to that feeling when he was younger, mistaking it for admiration perhaps, or just the driving need to make friends with someone who made him excited by his presence alone.