"Don't think, don't think," he shakes his head, just that handful of words enough to bring back the other day in full clarity. Why didn't either of these Lan Wangji want him to think?!

"I don't have to think like it, I saw it, firsthand..." he explains, wanting nothing more than to lean into the gentle way Lan Wangji holds him, but he's too tense and more than a little guilt-ridden to allow himself to.

"...how much I hurt you."

Seeing Lan Wangji so distraught, he'd only remembered flashes of, from a cliff's ledge before. To have experienced it in full, the crushing weight his absence caused, it was a heavy weight to reconcile. His fingers still, resting lightly on Lan Wangji's collar, and though he feels the brush of wings around him, he doesn't look up.

"Lan Zhan would know, better than anyone, so... how should I support him?"