This Lan Zhan was always so quick to remind him that he ought to be with his husband, he hopes he didn't think him unfaithful, or disingenuous, but the last couple times they've spoken, it's been hard not to feel rebuffed. He understands, of course, it's a strange line to draw, a strange place to be, and he's always been better at pushing feelings down, rather than letting them take over.

"Lan Zhan, I... does it make you uncomfortable? When I come talk to you?" he finally asks, "you don't have to force yourself. I do understand."