After the door closes, Wei Wuxian collapses onto the bed as if all the energy has left his body and he can't possibly hold himself up any longer. He starts to tremble and he wraps his arms around himself to try and stop it.
Too fast..it was all just too fast..This world likes to push ones boundaries..to warp their senses and their bodies and their emotions. And Wei Wuxian is a literal cornucopia of emotional turmoil. The hotel is enjoying a buffet tonight, as its lust potion leaves it's host as a shell of a person.
The tears that now flow freely onto his pillow are a combination of many of those emotions. He's angry at himself for hurting Lan Wangji. For bringing him to this point and then pushing him away. He knows how upset that man was and he did nothing to fix it. He simply let him leave, unable to do or say anything to fix it. He's also angry for his weakness. His inability to properly convey his feelings or even understand them in the first place.
Did he also care for Lan Wangji in that way? The man used the world 'love' but is that even possible for Wei Wuxian? Every person he has ever loved has been taken from him. The only family he ever knew. His Senior Sister. Even Jiang Cheng is lost from him. It's only fair that Lan Wangji should also be added to the list. Destroyed because of his own selfish actions.
The tears also fall from sadness, his heart feeling irrevocably broken. Whereas Lan Wangji is irrevocably in love..Wei Wuxian feels like he has no right to ever feel that way. He just pushed away the only person in this or the other world that loves him, and even though Lan Wangji said his feelings would never change, how can Wei Wuxian possibly believe that? When he is in a hotel that is based on lies and deception, can he really believe what anyone has to say? But deep down he knows that every word the other man said is true in his heart but that does little to resolve his fears.
After awhile the tears finally cease and Wei Wuxian pushes himself up. His body feels weak, as it normally does anytime he experiences any sort of emotional stress. And this ranks high on the stress meter. But he wants to get cleaned up and try to wash away some of the disgrace he feels. Feet touch the wooden floor and he pushes himself up unsteadily. The bathroom feels like an eternity away but slowly he stumbles his way there, gripping chairs and tables for support. He runs himself a bath, lowering himself into it while it is still filling. He adjusts his hair so that it is atop of his head and not dragging in the water. And he cups the water in his hands and splashes it first upon his face, removing the tracks the tears took down his cheeks.
He lays there for awhile, well past when the water went from hot to room temperature. He needed to figure out what to do because he couldn't just avoid Lan Wangji forever. It would be fair to him and Wei Wuxian wasn't sure he could live with himself if he tried to do that. And slowly as the water washed away the weariness, his mind also came to a few decisions. It would take time to understand and accept everything. And he had questions he needed answers to..but couldn't get, or rather didn't want to get, from the source.
With the bath complete, and his mind and body feeling better, he went to bed. Allowing himself a chance to sleep and clear his mind. Tomorrow would be a new day and a new chance as figuring things out..hopefully completely clear of any potions or distractions from the hotel.
Three days later
Wei Wuxian has kept himself mostly secluded, meditating at times and other times just finding ways to entertain himself in the room. He needed space and he couldn't bring himself to go outside in case he ran into Lan Wangji. He couldn't face him until he was ready. Until he really knew what he wanted to say.
And perhaps this still wasn't really enough time but at least he had gotten over his initial shock and had time to weigh Lan Wangji's words in his mind. He still didn't fully trust them, and probably wouldn't while they were in this hotel. But he accepts it as a possible truth and therefore won't just brush it off. However, he is still not ready to just throw caution to the wind and jump into a relationship full steam ahead. In his mind lust and love were too very different animals and after having time to get the lust out of his system and be able to think about it, he wasn't ready to commit to love. But he was committed to his friendship with Lan Wangji and as long as the other was willing to wait for him, then that was all Wei Wuxian needed at that moment.
And so he finally ventured out of his room, cautiously glancing down the hallway to see if anyone else was out. Not seeing anyone and being silently thankful for that he emerges completely and shuts his door. He needs to put some space between him and his room in order to be able to fully extinguish that need to hide away and to prove to himself that he is going to be fine.
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Too fast..it was all just too fast..This world likes to push ones boundaries..to warp their senses and their bodies and their emotions. And Wei Wuxian is a literal cornucopia of emotional turmoil. The hotel is enjoying a buffet tonight, as its lust potion leaves it's host as a shell of a person.
The tears that now flow freely onto his pillow are a combination of many of those emotions. He's angry at himself for hurting Lan Wangji. For bringing him to this point and then pushing him away. He knows how upset that man was and he did nothing to fix it. He simply let him leave, unable to do or say anything to fix it. He's also angry for his weakness. His inability to properly convey his feelings or even understand them in the first place.
Did he also care for Lan Wangji in that way? The man used the world 'love' but is that even possible for Wei Wuxian? Every person he has ever loved has been taken from him. The only family he ever knew. His Senior Sister. Even Jiang Cheng is lost from him. It's only fair that Lan Wangji should also be added to the list. Destroyed because of his own selfish actions.
The tears also fall from sadness, his heart feeling irrevocably broken. Whereas Lan Wangji is irrevocably in love..Wei Wuxian feels like he has no right to ever feel that way. He just pushed away the only person in this or the other world that loves him, and even though Lan Wangji said his feelings would never change, how can Wei Wuxian possibly believe that? When he is in a hotel that is based on lies and deception, can he really believe what anyone has to say? But deep down he knows that every word the other man said is true in his heart but that does little to resolve his fears.
After awhile the tears finally cease and Wei Wuxian pushes himself up. His body feels weak, as it normally does anytime he experiences any sort of emotional stress. And this ranks high on the stress meter. But he wants to get cleaned up and try to wash away some of the disgrace he feels. Feet touch the wooden floor and he pushes himself up unsteadily. The bathroom feels like an eternity away but slowly he stumbles his way there, gripping chairs and tables for support. He runs himself a bath, lowering himself into it while it is still filling. He adjusts his hair so that it is atop of his head and not dragging in the water. And he cups the water in his hands and splashes it first upon his face, removing the tracks the tears took down his cheeks.
He lays there for awhile, well past when the water went from hot to room temperature. He needed to figure out what to do because he couldn't just avoid Lan Wangji forever. It would be fair to him and Wei Wuxian wasn't sure he could live with himself if he tried to do that. And slowly as the water washed away the weariness, his mind also came to a few decisions. It would take time to understand and accept everything. And he had questions he needed answers to..but couldn't get, or rather didn't want to get, from the source.
With the bath complete, and his mind and body feeling better, he went to bed. Allowing himself a chance to sleep and clear his mind. Tomorrow would be a new day and a new chance as figuring things out..hopefully completely clear of any potions or distractions from the hotel.
Three days later
Wei Wuxian has kept himself mostly secluded, meditating at times and other times just finding ways to entertain himself in the room. He needed space and he couldn't bring himself to go outside in case he ran into Lan Wangji. He couldn't face him until he was ready. Until he really knew what he wanted to say.
And perhaps this still wasn't really enough time but at least he had gotten over his initial shock and had time to weigh Lan Wangji's words in his mind. He still didn't fully trust them, and probably wouldn't while they were in this hotel. But he accepts it as a possible truth and therefore won't just brush it off. However, he is still not ready to just throw caution to the wind and jump into a relationship full steam ahead. In his mind lust and love were too very different animals and after having time to get the lust out of his system and be able to think about it, he wasn't ready to commit to love. But he was committed to his friendship with Lan Wangji and as long as the other was willing to wait for him, then that was all Wei Wuxian needed at that moment.
And so he finally ventured out of his room, cautiously glancing down the hallway to see if anyone else was out. Not seeing anyone and being silently thankful for that he emerges completely and shuts his door. He needs to put some space between him and his room in order to be able to fully extinguish that need to hide away and to prove to himself that he is going to be fine.