Wei Wuxian stopped moving when Lan Wangji yelled at him. But he never turned around. Kept his back to the man as his anger sliced through him. The man that barely said ten words to him in the course of a day is slicing his heart in two with his words. And Wei Wuxian deserved all that anger. The betrayal the other felt is entirely his fault and he can't deny it. But neither can he make it better..not in this instant and probably not in a lifetime. He only lights things on fire, he doesn't know how to extinguish the flames.
And perhaps it is better this way...for Lan Wangji to hate him just as everyone else does. Makes life simpler. The single plank bridge is the one he chose to walk on and so he's familiar with it. He knows how to be alone. Running away is exactly what he wanted to do. Just like when he first saw Lan Wangji at Mo village. He couldn't handle seeing the people he knew in his past life and yet one after another they kept showing up. It was inescapable..just like this place.
The sound of a fist hitting the wall makes him flinch. And still he doesn't turn. He can't or else the tears that have left tracks once again down his cheeks would be seen. This is fine. This is exactly what he deserves. Keep his voice as steady as he possibly can, he finally responds.
He doesn't want to kill anyone. He doesn't want any more blood on his hands. The curse had been merely an after thought when they were trying to solve the case of the possessed body parts. And he certainly didn't ask for Lan Wangji's help to try and find out who Mo Xuanyu hated so much.
"Yeah. It's okay. Did you ever stop and wonder why this place doesn't bother me? Maybe because here, no one asks anything of me. No one expects me to play the part of the Yilling Patriarch. No one is afraid of me or wants me dead. And despite that..do you know what I've been doing? I've talked to every staff member. Every person I encounter. I've gathered every ounce of data I can possibly find..all because I haven't settled. Because I want to find the crack in the wall and see if any of the people here are connected in some way. Because someday I do want to get home and the only way to do that is to smile, ask questions and put on the most pleasant face anyone would want to see."
He's always wasted his life so why should this place be any different..He'll just go back to being the Yilling Patriarch. He'll get his powers back and he'll just make everyone kneel. He'll get his answers the only way anyone gets anything. Through fear.
"I am a fool. I never claimed I wasn't. I only know how to behave foolishly. I came to apologize. To make things right. But..nevermind. It's better this way. I'll just keep walking this single plank bridge."
No complicated feelings. Just..no feelings at all. He starts to walk again, unable to look Lan Wangji in the face and show just how not okay any of this was.
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And perhaps it is better this way...for Lan Wangji to hate him just as everyone else does. Makes life simpler. The single plank bridge is the one he chose to walk on and so he's familiar with it. He knows how to be alone. Running away is exactly what he wanted to do. Just like when he first saw Lan Wangji at Mo village. He couldn't handle seeing the people he knew in his past life and yet one after another they kept showing up. It was inescapable..just like this place.
The sound of a fist hitting the wall makes him flinch. And still he doesn't turn. He can't or else the tears that have left tracks once again down his cheeks would be seen. This is fine. This is exactly what he deserves. Keep his voice as steady as he possibly can, he finally responds.
He doesn't want to kill anyone. He doesn't want any more blood on his hands. The curse had been merely an after thought when they were trying to solve the case of the possessed body parts. And he certainly didn't ask for Lan Wangji's help to try and find out who Mo Xuanyu hated so much.
"Yeah. It's okay. Did you ever stop and wonder why this place doesn't bother me? Maybe because here, no one asks anything of me. No one expects me to play the part of the Yilling Patriarch. No one is afraid of me or wants me dead. And despite that..do you know what I've been doing? I've talked to every staff member. Every person I encounter. I've gathered every ounce of data I can possibly find..all because I haven't settled. Because I want to find the crack in the wall and see if any of the people here are connected in some way. Because someday I do want to get home and the only way to do that is to smile, ask questions and put on the most pleasant face anyone would want to see."
He's always wasted his life so why should this place be any different..He'll just go back to being the Yilling Patriarch. He'll get his powers back and he'll just make everyone kneel. He'll get his answers the only way anyone gets anything. Through fear.
"I am a fool. I never claimed I wasn't. I only know how to behave foolishly. I came to apologize. To make things right. But..nevermind. It's better this way. I'll just keep walking this single plank bridge."
No complicated feelings. Just..no feelings at all. He starts to walk again, unable to look Lan Wangji in the face and show just how not okay any of this was.