angryhearts | that the blood you bleed; open

Entry tags:

the untamed: lan xichen

that the blood you bleed; open

WHO: Lan Xichen + open

WHAT: event aftermath, dealing with having a temporary ceramic arm, and possible info sharing around it

WHEN: running from the end of the camping event through now

WHERE: the gym, the hotel lobby, the guest level, his room

NOTES: likely discussion of violence, limb loss, and nonconsensual medical procedures - I'll match either brackets or prose in replies!

When they'd been told that those injured would be taken away for medical attention, Lan Xichen had anticipated that may not mean anything good. He hadn't expected... this. After waking up in his quarters back at the hotel, there'd been very little pain. That alone would have been something of a marvel, considering the fact that within the last day his left arm had been completely torn off and replaced with one made of ceramic, but then there is the ceramic arm itself.

He can't figure out how it's attached. He can feel its weight, a solid presence that feels every bit like an arm should - except that it is completely nonresponsive. Even if its joints were articulated, he couldn't get it to move at all. It is... disconcerting, in a way he has no words to express, how it feels simultaneously as though he has no arm at all and one that is completely foreign.

In an attempt to learn more, he can be found in the gym - not making use of the equipment, but standing in front of one of the mirrors in the changing area or the dance studio. He is dressed, for the most part, in a long blue skirt and a long-sleeved blue overcoat, but the coat itself is loose, and currently pulled down enough on the left side to completely expose his shoulder and the upper part of the ceramic arm. His fingers smooth over the lines where it's joined to his skin, gaze split between the arm itself and its reflection in the mirror. His focus is intent enough that it may take him a moment to realize someone else has come into the room, but when he does he'll pull the fabric somewhat awkwardly back up over his shoulder.

"My apologies. I needed a reflective surface larger than what is available in my room."

He may also be found in the hotel lobby, walking among the shops set up by the traveling merchants. His long sleeves hide the ceramic arm, but it's still tucked immobile at his side as he walks. The claim of the spiritual properties of the items for sale is certainly not unheard of for him - but neither is the knowledge that claims such as these are not always truthful, and he has no access to his own spiritual power to be able to test it.

Still, he is curious, and when he spots someone else looking, he approaches them.

"Have you purchased anything?"

Or maybe he's in the hallway of the guest rooms, making his way back to his room with a tray of food balanced in one arm. Something jostles him - stepping out of the way of an opening door, perhaps, or moving to the side to accommodate a staff member or another guest - and he adjusts instinctively, intending to bring up his other arm to steady his load.

Only, of course, he cannot, and he realizes it too late to completely correct the imbalance. The tray doesn't quite slip from his grasp, but one or two dishes tumble from it before he can catch them.

At any time, for those who might go looking for him, he can be found in his room, both during the week that he has the ceramic arm and the time shortly after, when he wakes up in his room to find a flesh and bone replacement in its stead. He has taken to leaving his door unlocked when he's in the room, so he doesn't need to get up from his meditations to open it, and should anyone knock he'll call for them to enter.

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The relief he feels turns quickly into something much more unsettling, a swooping sensation as though his stomach had dropped much lower than it should.

He had forgotten. Or more accurately, perhaps, he hadn't been awake long enough to process through the surprise of the arm and piece what he remembered together, but the effect is the same. Lan Xichen had tried not to allow himself to give into too much frantic speculation on what had happened, on how this came to pass, but he would be lying if he said his mind hadn't tried to turn towards there, as it does now.

What must Wuxian have seen, to be so concerned? He will, for the moment, lay aside the way that his heart both softens and twists uncertaintly at the realization that the concern is for him.

He lays his hand over Wuxian's on his chest, briefly, giving it a soothing pat of his own.

"I'm here, I am all right."

It isn't technically a lie. He is far better than he was when they were last in the woods - little pain, no lingering feeling of blood loss - and he had already began to come to terms with the loss of his arm. Which makes this, perhaps, something of an improvement.

"Will you sit down with me?"

It's lucky, he thinks, that Lan Xichen's expressions are much easier to read than his brother's, or rather, they require much less careful observation. It's clear he's distressed, they both are, and for good reason. He honestly hopes that his brother-in-law remembers little of the violence and carnage as possible.

The hand on his is small comfort, but he takes it for what it is, and gives a nod in return. He follows, taking a moment to evaluate Zewu Jun's state, the bloodstains that still remain, barely begun to brown with how fresh they are. Blood isn't uncommon, not in the cultivation world, and certainly not for Wei Wuxian, who uses it in so many of his talismans, but seeing it on someone he cares about, it's so very different.

"Ah... Mm," he takes the offered seat, swallowing down a nervous lump in his throat. Lan Xichen is alive, he should be satisfied with that, ruined arm or no.

"Do you... remember much of what happened?" he asks, a look of worry replacing his ever-present smile.

Lan Xichen can't help but make a small assessment of his own as they move to sit, scanning Wuxian's movements just to check that he really is all right, that nothing else happened in the woods before they arrived back in the hotel. Not that Wuxian couldn't hide it from him if he wanted to - he understands that joviality can be a mask for pain as readily as serenity - but he has to try.

He can find nothing but distress over the situation, though, a distress he suspects is echoed in his own expression.

And he regrets now, a little, that he hadn't taken the opportunity to change before opening the door. It might have done nothing, considering Wuxian had already seen whatever happened during the gaps in Lan Xichen's memory, but at least it wouldn't serve as a stark reminder.

The worry he sees makes him reach out again, to settle a hand on his shoulder, touch gentle and thumb smoothing an absent circle, the way he used to when Mingjue was in pain.

"No. Whatever happened, all I know is that I was in pain, and now I am not." Which is its own concern, really, but at least he can provide reassurance that he had not actually experienced whatever had been done.

Aside from the cracked rib that he favors occasionally(and that ought to have been much worse if not for the luck Lan Xichen granted him), he made it out of the woods largely unscathed. And that was with March trying his best to get them in trouble, too! His injuries would heal easily, it was nothing so detrimental as losing a limb. And the fact that Lan Xichen is still somehow the one comforting him, as though Wei Wuxian is the one that's been through some terrible trauma and not himself. It's enough to make his lips part slightly, stunned by the oddly affectionate display. Zewu Jun is probably, surely just in shock still. Which, isn't to say the touch makes him uncomfortable, just... out of place, and certain it isn't meant for him.

"I um..." he fights down the urge to lick his lips nervously, "I'm glad there's no pain. "

From his limited experience dealing with traumatic injuries in his loved ones, he expects lashing out, or blame throwing, and he's not sure if this calm acceptance is better or much worse. Harsh words, at least, he knows how to deal with. For now, he just sits still, tension stiff in his shoulders, and worry in his brow. What use was his talisman, anyway? Showing up late, no help, and he'd had to remain hidden through much of it, only catching glimpses of the room.

"I'm afraid I wasn't able to discover much," he hesitates, "while you were out, that is. But, I can share what I saw, if you've the heart to hear it."

Ah. He should apologize, he thinks, for the display, but - Wuxian does not pull away from him, or make an excuse to brush him off with nervous laughter, and he doesn't want to take the intent behind the gesture back unless he's sure it had been unwelcome. He gives a tiny squeeze, instead, then lets his hand fall back down to rest in his own lap.

"Whatever you were able to obtain, it is surely more than we knew before."

And he will take anything they can get, at this point.

"My heart is not so fragile as that. I would like to know." There is a pause, and in the past that might have been where he left it, but he finds himself adding quietly, "All of it, Wuxian. Please."

It is presumptuous, perhaps, to think that Wuxian would be swayed by the plea - presumptuous even to think that if he kept something back of what he saw, that it would be because he was concerned about how Lan Xichen would be able to take it.

But he can shore himself up easily against whatever must have transpired for him to go from having the remains of an arm to having no arm at all, and a ceramic replica in its place. He finds it - more difficult, at the moment, to have to shore himself up against the knowledge that he is only getting a half truth because someone thinks he is unable to handle it all.

He doesn't pull away, or try to do anything but sit, but he's sure Lan Xichen must feel the stiff tension in his shoulder as he squeezes. Wei Wuxian is really terrible at this comforting thing, he thinks, but at least the conversation moves along quickly, though whether that's truly an improvement is anyone's guess.

"I didn't mean-" he starts to say, before biting off his words. There hadn't been time to sort the events, to think about what he should and shouldn't divulge, but when he thought on it, there were certainly things that didn't seem useful, only seemed hurtful, were Lan Xichen to hear them.

"Mm," he agrees, perhaps too quickly. He's nothing if not careful of the feelings of those around him, tiptoeing around Jiang Cheng's repaired golden core, or holding his tongue to help others save face. He could do that much for Zewu Jun, he was sure.

"When I woke up, we were already in an unfamiliar room," he starts, describing what details he could recall, from the large metal stills, labels with their emotions, to the countertops with oddly colors liquids and equipment, and what little he could describe of those present.

"There were three men, I think," he added, "the one who worked on your arm, they called him the Carpenter. They... argued back and forth, about whether or not to fix your arm, or leave it as... a warning, a reminder, I'm sure."

He leaves out their chatter about which emotions came strongest from Xichen, and even so, it wasn't like Wei Wuxian knew how they were siphoning those feelings, or what any of that really meant. He'd probably heard wrong, anyway. What did someone like Lan Xichen have to hate himself over?

Instead, he details the surgery itself for Zewu Jun, and hopes any perceived discomfort just seems like he's being squeamish talking about the way they'd used those tools to saw away at the limb, then fasten the ceramic replacement. He even adds in what little he remembers about the elevators, how they'd scanned a card and pressed a series of buttons, though he hadn't seen precisely which ones, but they were the very same elevators that carried them upstairs to their guest rooms.

"They said they plan to take you back there, in a week's time. I think the arm they gave you is a temporary replacement," his fingers tap a nervous rhythm on his knee, "I... I can go with you again. If you'll let me. Maybe I can learn something else?"

There's the quirk of a small, tight smile at that, and Lan Xichen nods. It had been a quick agreement, and he isn't entirely sure he believes it, but - that's no fault of Wuxian's. He closes his eyes, pulling in a breath to re-center himself. There's still a pinch of distress in his eyes when he opens them again, but otherwise his expression is calm neutrality as he listens.

It is... easier to take than any other distressing news he's received recently, by far. Particularly when he's able to focus on puzzling out the clues that Wuxian relays. The details of the surgery are - necessary, and he is grateful that they weren't left out, and even more grateful that he's able to view them with some distance since he has no memory of them.

His hand moves without conscious thought, coming up to probe carefully at the place where the ceramic arm is attached to his shoulder. If they can do something like this with the Carpenter's tools, what else can they do?

There's clear interest when Wuxian offers to go along with him again - it's a good idea, clever as it had been the first time, and they may indeed learn more - but he hesitates. He has picked up on a little bit of discomfort as Wuxian recounted the details, and he does attribute it to what he saw.

That, and he is now conscious of how dangerous it might have been, if he was caught.

"You have already learned how they are able to access the areas that we can't, obtained further evidence that they are collecting our emotions, and given me reassurance that I may not be like this forever. Of course I will let you come, if you want, but - "

He lets his hand drop from his shoulder, feeling a little foolish.

"I know neither of us are strangers to it, but I'm still sorry you had to be so close to such a thing. You don't have to do it again."

Lan Xichen is capable of far more serenity in trying moments than Wei Wuxian can hope to match, but even in his patchy memories, Lan Xichen was always the sort to listen first, before rushing to any decisions. Wuxian isn't any less conscious of his little tells, the body language and the way he responds to his account. Lan Xichen, much like his brother, is open and honest, and he can't help feeling his own sense of guilt begin to pool, cold in his stomach, at keeping anything from him.

"The talisman acted exactly as I intended," he replies, a faintly proud smile working its way back onto his lips, "there's nothing to apologize for. And I'd much rather be sure of your safety, and any coming dangers."

It's as close to saying he was worried over his brother-in-law as he's likely to get, and just so the onus isn't completely on Lan Xichen's shoulders, he's quick to add more reasons.

"They were far less guarded in their speech, and perhaps next time I can explore the facility. If they've left out any notes, or papers, there's so much of value we could glean, I can only see benefits to making the attempt."

He can't help but give a small smile of his own at Wuxian's. That's true enough - it did work exactly as intended, even if what was seen was unpleasant. His other words are true as well. A second attempt may be more risky, but it may also garner even more results, now that Wuxian will have already seen it once and may be able to investigate more.

Added to that - it may not necessarily be valuable information, but knowing what happened will certainly leave Lan Xichen more at ease than the endlessly processing he might otherwise have done.

"We are agreement to the benefits. It was a clever idea, and it is a good plan."

Lan Xichen's reluctance isn't because he doesn't think so.

"There are rarely scenarios where there are only benefits. There will be risk, and if you are willing to take it, I will support your plan. But please know I - I would like to be sure of your safety as well."

There were never guarantees, Lan Xichen was right about that much. Risks were an inherent part of life, let alone living in this strange world. His papermen weren't infallible, and if he wasn't careful with its fragile body, his own would suffer the consequences.

Zewu Jun had more than enough to worry about though, without troubling himself over any of that. He'd lost an arm; in comparison, this was a minor risk.

"Mm, of course, I'll have Lan Zhan watch over my body this time," he assures.

"There's no one who will keep me safer."

That - isn't quite the point, but fair enough. Lan Xichen won't push, for the moment, particularly not when Wuxian is being complimentary of his brother's skills.

He will come back to the matter of his own care for Wuxian later.

Perhaps after he has asked Wangji for advice.

"No, there is not."

There is no one better in this world or any other, but then, he knows he doesn't have to say that for Wuxian to understand it.

"Then we will see what you can uncover in a week. For now - would you like to see the gift I found in my quarters just before we left for the woods?"

If Lan Xichen wants to lecture him later, about the value of flutes and human lives, that's one thing, but if they're already planning to cart his brother-in-law off to that place again, he'd like to know just how to stage a rescue operation, should it come to that. Information was just a bonus, if he happened upon it.

"I'll let Lan Zhan know," he nods. The change in topic seems abrupt, but the plan is about as set as it can be. And if there's something else he's found that's important enough for Lan Xichen to want to discuss it with him, he won't say no. If it's one of the gifts from home, it could be useful. Maybe they've repaired Zewu Jun's flute, or brought him a guqin? Some of the Lan's sacred texts, perhaps?

"Oh? Ah- mm, yeah, what is it? "

Admittedly, it is an abrupt change, one he likely could have handled with more finesse if he were - a little more put together than he is at the moment. Granted, less put together for him is still fairly composed, but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel it.

He suspects if he allows himself to continue discussing their plan, he will find himself less able to defer the subject of his care for Wuxian to another time.

"Allow me to show you."

He stands, gesturing with his good hand for Wuxian to follow him, and leads the way to - a rabbit hutch, tucked neatly in one of the corners of his front room, with two rabbits inside.

He's ready for another serious conversation, perhaps some more in-depth planning or talk of tactics, based on whatever it is Lan Xichen was given from home. Instead, he's so surprised by the pair of cuddly little rabbits, he blurts out a laugh, loud and amused, before he covers his mouth and tries, completely unsuccessfully to hide it behind a cough.

"O-oh, they're really... Ah, really nice, Dabo. Did you show Lan Zhan yet? I bet he'd love these," he says honestly, walking over so he can crouch beside the hutch.

And, because he has little in the way of self control when he's got an impulse to do something, he immediately reaches in to try to pick one up.

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that the blood you bleed; open

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