you want to hear it? well —

[happyheartsstaff]

ONLY, MY SECRET'S MINE, AND I WON'T TELL

The garden may no longer be available upon return to the hotel, but there is still a bustle of energy. How fortunate all the Oysters are, to reside in such a renowned place! It's a great honor for those in Wonderland to be granted opportunity to teach their skills or ply their trade here, and the Queen permits only the best. Hotel staff themselves seem to delight in the presence of the traveling merchants. Many trade teas or favors for enchanted items, and will eagerly discuss their purchases. "Oh, it happens regularly enough," they will say if asked, "but you never know if the merchant you liked or the item you eyed will be back next time!"

The talk lingers after the guest instructors and merchants have departed, but it isn't the only thing left behind. Glimmers of green may catch your eye, tucked away in hidden places that seem almost impossible to reach without drawing attention to yourself. Those who manage it will find a scrap of heavy paper with a drawing of a stylized caterpillar, a series of numbers, and the words call a friend.

Are you curious enough to input the numbers into your Empathy? It will ring, if you do, until an answering machine picks up and asks a single question — How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail? Do you dare leave a message? What will it be? Whatever you decide, the call will disconnect after a few minutes. It seems the only thing you can do now is wait for a call back.

But of course, the hotel is not in the habit of allowing such a thing as idle waiting. Her Royal Highness has noticed that some of her beloved Oysters seem quite reluctant to partake of the many splendors that the hotel provides, and she will be offering a special treat — indulgence.

QUEEN'S GAMES

8/12 - 8/22

What's more fun to indulge in than a little healthy competition? It's time for the Queen's Games, a truly dazzling spectacle. Competitors come from all over Wonderland, and this year for the first time ever, Oysters are invited to join! Announcements for the games schedule will be posted all throughout the hotel, along with directions on how to register to join.

The games will be held in either the pool area or the gym, which seems to have expanded to accommodate the number of spectators. Available games include:

• archery
• chess
• croquet
• artistic swimming
• diving
• gymnastics
• flamingo flying
• ice skating
• ice sculptures

Of course, even the games that Oysters are familiar with may not be quite the same. Chess in Wonderland is a team sport, for example, with each member of the team filling a role as a chess piece and a coach as a strategist directing the plays. Attempting to capture one of the other team's pieces includes having to successfully win a fight against them. Gymnastics and diving competitors include growing and shrinking in size to their routines, ice sculptures come to life when they've been completed, artistic swimmers and ice skaters change costumes and swap partners in the blink of an eye.

If they're lucky, Oysters may find one of the competitors willing to show them the ropes. If they're even luckier, or more persistent, there may be a spot or two open on one of the teams that Oysters can slot themselves into. For the most part, team members will be delighted to have Oysters there.

"You all just feel so much," one may say, sounding a little awed.

"Show off those emotions, it'll get us points," another will add.

Although competitors are friendly, with Osyters and with each other, it's clear that most of them are here to win. Rivalries may flare up throughout the month, ex-lovers may be reunited and broken up again, infighting may spark among the teams — all things that can be soothed or exacerbated, for Oysters who may have inclinations towards utilizing such things to increase their chances of winning.

Or to fan the flames of drama for its own sake.

THE CALL

8/16

Starting in the early morning hours and continuing late into the night, any who left a message will get a call back.

Those who completed the poem will be greeted immediately by a friendly male voice, with an apology for the delay. "Ugh, our lines are backed up like crazy," the caller will say. "Where are you reporting in from?"

Those who somehow identified themselves as an Oyster, as residing in the hotel, from off world, being held by the Queen, or otherwise potentially against the Queen, will have their call returned by a cold female voice, guarded and wary.

"Show me your Oyster mark," the caller will request. "We can't risk giving you anything without proof."

Regardless of which caller contacts them, anyone who cooperates will receive similar information.

The friendly caller will readily provide assurances that the resistance base was not found, despite Mad March and the Order's attempt at reconnaissance in the old kingdom.

"Can't say much more than that over these channels, you know, but worry not! Everyone is safe. We have a follow up from the last mission — sorry about the air conditioning, you know, couldn't be helped — you ready for this? Keycodes. Access keycodes. Didn't get more than a handful, of course, and the intel is vague about what they access. Are we glad to get your call! How about it, you ready to try one out and see what information you can get?"

The guarded caller will allude to the Order not being able to find what they wanted out in the ruins.

"Did you think they took you out there to show you the sights? They're looking for us, obviously. No I'm not going to tell you more than that — just because you're an Oyster doesn't mean we can completely trust you. All right, look. Last time we broke into the hotel, we recovered a few access codes. We had to get out of there before we could find out what they accessed. How about a trade? We give you the code, you call us back and tell us what you find."

INDULGENCE

8/13 - 8/23

Throughout the event, there will be a number of activities available alongside the games designed to encourage unwinding. A concert set up in the hotel lobby will kick off the start of the games, at which indulgence teas will be made available for the first time. They will continue to be served readily at all hours of the day. Enhanced spa facilities will be made available as well — dazzling pedicures and manicures with nail polish that can do anything from change colors based on your mood to emit light so bright it can function as a flashlight; makeup that gives you a kiss that will literally stun the recipient; aromatherapy that will cure any kind of hangover; oils that double as aphrodisiacs, for those interested; healing massages that will take away your aches and pains, wiping away any bruises or injuries with no questions asked. A clean slate, ready to indulge again.

Then, of course, there are the less official activities. Whispers will begin to spread about another kind of competition being run after hours, when all good competitors should be sleeping. No one quite knows who's running it — one person heard it was the coach of one of the chess teams, eager to get her players extra practice; another heard it was one of the chess players themselves; still another will say it is an ice skater, a flamingo pilot, a gymnast. After all, it hardly matters, does it, as long as it runs, and there is a fight every night? Oysters are welcomed into this competition as well, where the only rule is not to kill your opponent. Teas of all kinds exchange hands as bets are placed on the fights, and the champion is rumored to receive a truly spectacular prize.

If fighting is not to your speed, fear not. All of the competitors seem to have different ways to unwind after the games are completed for the day, and all are happy to allow Oysters to indulge in attending the various get-togethers and parties they host. The knight on one of the chess teams has the most renowned wine collection, and he's brought some of his finest with him to be enjoyed alongside cheeses and poetry. One of the swimmers is a passionate musician, and has recruited anyone who can play an instrument to discuss musical theory and play together. A croquet player is known for hosting the wildest parties, with free-flowing moonshine and sips of ecstacy tea readily available. There is a flamingo pilot with a book club, an archer who is a fabulous chef, a diver who is a skilled debater with a wicked tongue — whatever you like to indulge in, chances are, someone's throwing a party for it.

The games will end on the 23rd, with a roaring celebration of all who participated in the competition. The pool area will be taken over for the farewell party, with music, food, alcohol, and dancing available. It is here that the winners of the competitions will be announced, and prizes will be awarded.

If you have any questions, please leave them over here! Results for the access code sign ups and the distractions will go out on the 14th, so players have until then to sign up. Characters can use the keycodes to access areas and cause distractions from the 16th through the 23rd — and beyond, but after the final party they may no longer have an easy excuse. If you wish to have your character compete in one of the competitions for the prizes, you can sign up here! Winners will be RNGed.

PREMISE RULES FAQ TAKEN RESERVES APPLICATION MOD CONTACT HIATUS & DROPS WORLD INFO NPCS CALENDAR AC REWARDS PLAYER CONTACT

© tessisamess

Comments

[sadflutenoises]

"Lan Zhan was... heartbroken," he shakes his head, pulling back slightly as he does so. Much as he doesn't want to think about it, seeing how broken he looked, how helpless, how could he not try to do something?

"So, I held onto him for a while," he admits, "and I was trying to tell him it would be okay, because- because when Shijie disappeared, I- but then he sorta... kissed me?"

Once the words start coming, it's hard to stop them, having built up for a little while now. He just hopes Lan Zhan won't be too angry with him, now that he knows.

"And I thought he was just- I mean- upset, right? Because of course he was upset, so I didn't think he meant anything by it, because what if I went missing and only my soul-twin was here? I couldn't blame you for wanting to be close to him, it'd be a million times better than being so... so inconsolable. I'd want you to be happy and- but then he was saying that he cared about me like that too, I think? And... I didn't really know what to say, so he said not to think about it, but Lan Zhan, you know you can't say that and really think I won't stop thinking about it," he holds himself quite still, and tries to resist the urge to fidget or bolt or maybe just disintegrate on the spot. There's a beat before he can even make himself look up, to see Lan Zhan's reaction.

[billowing]

A lot of things play on his face. He cycles through emotions from shocked to upset to jealous to upset again. "He... kissed you?" he asks, after a long pregnant pause, the only thing he says for a moment.

Because, if his Wei Ying were to have been the one to disappear - he would have been sad, but. He wouldn't have kissed the other one.

When he'd showed up in this hotel alone, the thought hadn't crossed his mind. And then Wei Ying showed up, and he'd told the other one - they had to set boundaries, that he wouldn't do anything that would possibly hurt his Wei Ying.

Yet, Lan Wangji - he'd agreed to the other Wei Ying, hadn't he? That he could see this one. He'd probably assumed they did things like kiss all the time. He takes a deep, heavily annoyed breath.

[sadflutenoises]

Lan Zhan doesn't push him away, but neither does he try to hold him, and Wei Wuxian catches just enough of the angry looks crossing his pristine features to worry. It was exactly what he'd hoped to avoid, in fact, and he didn't even have to look, he could hear the frustration apparent even in his breath.

Wei Wuxian would almost rather he was struck. At least when he fought with Jiang Cheng or was disciplined by Madam Yu, it was over with quickly, and they could all move on. He didn't feel the need to make excuses, hated the idea that he might get someone else in trouble, even if it was Lan Zhan's own soul-twin, but trying to take the blame on himself, as he would in any other scenario, would only serve to hurt his own Lan Zhan all the more.

"I... yes," he says truthfully, "but- but I'm sure he just- had his own Wei Wuxian in mind."

Whatever he might've said, it was hard to take at face value, especially when he'd been so close to a breakdown. Of course he missed his Wei Ying, and here he was, the nearest warm body that wore the same face. He'd probably done just as much harm as comfort.

"I'm sorry," his hands fidget nervously, and he much prefers to look down at them, than try to meet Lan Wangji's eyes. He's never had an easy time saying it, but if anyone deserves to hear it, it's Lan Zhan, "I'm so sorry."

He doesn't know what else to say. It seems too selfish to beg him not to be angry, despite how he might want to. Excuses that he didn't know it would happen, that he hadn't meant to lead the other on just seem hollow. More than anything, he worries he might have messed this up, gone a step too far, made Lan Zhan realize it'd all been a mistake.

[billowing]

It strikes him in the heart, because it isn't like Wei Ying had cheated on him, and from his reaction it seems like he hadn't even been the intended recipient of the kiss. Lan Wangji was warned that the other one seemed to like to kiss without notifying his partner. Thankfully, the other Wei Ying was the complete opposite in that regard, or they would've already had this conversation, but in reverse.

He takes a deep breath, and tries to argue with the rational part of his brain, which knows that Wei Ying loves him, loves this instance of him, has told him that he and the other one are just friends, that this was a surprise. But he feels guilty, too, because he and the other Wei Ying are not just friends, and he's personally found a hard time trying to explain to Wei Ying that he loves both of them, but to trust him when he says that this one comes first.

Because he'd worried, hadn't he? When he'd proposed. And then after. And then several times after that. He was worrying now, wasn't he?

"Wei Ying. At night, you come to my room, to my Cloud Recesses. That is the one you remember. That is the one you will return to, when we go home," he starts. "I am the one you will spend the rest of your life with. Is that what you wish?"

[sadflutenoises]

Lan Zhan is prone to long silences, pausing to collect his thoughts before speaking, rather than saying nearly everything that pops into his head, like Wei Wuxian. He reminds himself of that, as he waits for a response, and tries not to let his thoughts spiral.

"Mm," he nods, and tries to push aside the thoughts that tell him he's given Lan Zhan reason to doubt that in the first place. His thoughts might be fickle at times, but his heart isn't.

"That's what I want."

[billowing]

He listens for Wei Ying's response, and he knows, in his heart, even if he always says what comes to mind first, that he isn't lying. And so, he nods, because... partially one of the reasons that he is upset at all is because he naturally assumes that Wei Ying is in love with the other Lan Wangji. It makes sense, doesn't it? They share a soul, and the other Wei Ying loves him. It seems all four of them are in this together, shouldn't he be relieved?

"Mn," he responds, brushing Wei Ying's hair away from his face. "He has the same heart and the same soul that I have," he resolves. So naturally it would follow that he would love Wei Ying as Lan Wangji does. And honestly, could Lan Wangji really fault anyone for falling in love with Wei Ying? He could maybe fault someone for acting on it.

"How do you feel?" he asks, because that seems like an important thing that Wei Ying never actually asks himself.

[sadflutenoises]

When Lan Zhan approaches, brushing his hair back with claw-like fingers, he wants to cling to it, like a lifeline, feeling a wave of relief at the gesture. He does so, if tentatively, holding Lan Wangji's hand in both of his and squeezing lightly.

Hadn't they thought of their doubles as having the same soul? Even if their experiences differed, what was inside remained. He might get irritated at times, with his own soul-twin, and he'd known, just as well, it was exactly because they were so similar, right down to their frustrating habits.

"I do care about him, he's... he's Lan Zhan, after all," he starts. It would be much stranger if he didn't care for the man at all. When Wei Wuxian had finally gathered enough courage to tell his Lan Zhan what was in his heart, hadn't he said that no matter where they ended up or whatever lifetime it might be, Wei Wuxian couldn't imagine one where he didn't love Lan Wangji.

"But he's not you," it's hard to think that someone as perfect and accomplished as Lan Zhan could still feel insecure, and after everything Lan Zhan has done and all the ways he's supported him, how could he ever want him to feel that way?

Lan Zhan's double had asked him more or less the same thing, and he hadn't had an answer then. Despite thinking on it almost constantly since, he wasn't sure he had one now, either. He knew he cared about the other Lan Zhan, but...

"I didn't think he felt like... I thought we were just friends? He has his own Wei Wuxian, from his own world, why would he want me?"

[billowing]

Wei Ying holds his hand and it feels like the softest gesture in the world. After all, his claws are hideous, and they're once again in this odd spot they keep finding themselves in, where they're not sure where they belong with each other.

But it is enough for him, that Wei Ying chooses him, chooses to be with him, is upset enough over being kissed by someone else that he would tell Lan Wangji. Isn't it? In the same way that he hasn't asked Wei Ying about the other one for fear of hurting him, Wei Ying is afraid of hurting him, out of love for him. Out of fear of losing him, of giving him something in the back of his mind that he might continue to pick at, that might be irrevocable.

It shouldn't be that way. He knows, he belongs fully to Wei Ying, this Wei Ying. And so he should trust, it's the same.

"You have Wei Ying's spirit," he responds, after a moment. "You have Wei Ying's smile." And his laugh, and his eyes, and his body language. They might have been different in small ways, but in all the big important ones, and in all the small details lovers know each other best, they are the same. They both like to drape over Lan Wangji, both like to toy with him, both can get so very flustered mentioning dirty or excessively romantic things. They like to be held close. They like to tug on sleeves, and play with the headband, and hold hands just so.

[sadflutenoises]

Lan Zhan hasn't tried to pull back, hasn't tried to break the distance between them, and he takes that as a good sign, his hands caressing Lan Wangji's gently as he holds it. Wei Wuxian draws it closer, against his cheek, trying to encourage, to make sure Lan Zhan knows how much he wants this, wants him.

It wasn't as if this was a moral dilemma he ever thought he'd be facing, wondering whether or not he ought to be in competition with himself, more or less. Or making his husband feel like he was in some sort of competition with his other self. If Lan Zhan knew such things because he was close to his soul-twin, just as he'd grown to be friends with the other Lan Wangji. He might have once felt jealous, but seeing how Lan Zhan's soul-twin had been so devastated without the one he loved the most, he knew he'd want his own soul-twin to help mend that wound, to show his Lan Zhan comfort, in whatever form he needed it.

"And Lan Zhan?" he glances up, a small knot of worry between his brows, "How do you feel?"

[billowing]

"You had doubts that you were the Wei Ying I waited for, but I do not," he responds. Because he needs to make that very clear, as Wei Ying had felt on rocky standing, but that was before he could see into Lan Wangji's heart and feel the depth, the reach, the sheer overwhelming mass of his love for Wei Ying. He reaches for that worry between his eyes, and presses a finger there as Wei Ying had gestured towards his nose once.

"I love all Wei Ying, but he is not you," he repeats. "I chose you. And I will choose you every time." Which, honestly, probably the most shocking thing about the kiss, but he also doesn't regularly kiss Wei Ying while he's blindfolded and against his permission either. If Wei Ying has asked if he kissed the other one, he can at least truthfully explain that it was because he was a rabbit.

It's also a little rude to say because they don't know if the other one is gone forever - it would break Lan Wangji's heart, but at least, now, he feels liberated to grieve.

In either case, he probably should have told Wei Ying earlier, which is the story of his life, but at least they can have an honest conversation about it, except the part where his soul twin already asked for permission and this misunderstanding is probably what started this entire situation that has Lan Wangji so incensed.

[sadflutenoises]

His doubts might have been misplaced, due in great part to how very little he knew and how behind he felt. It left him with half-remembered dreams of his past life and hardly anything of this one, but he couldn't possibly doubt how Lan Zhan feels about him. He might fall into uneasiness or feel as if he's let his husband down, especially now, but the reassurance of his words and the soft echo of Shijie's comforting gesture eases his anxiety.

Hearing Lan Zhan use a word so strong as love for both Wei Wuxian and his soul-twin might have once made him jealous or unsettled, but now it feels a comfort, to hear that he's still the one Lan Zhan will choose, and something of a relief, to know that no matter the Wei Wuxian, he'll bring Lan Zhan some happiness. Maybe he'll have to think on it deeper than that, sort through it, but for now, it feels like enough.

All that remains then, he supposes, is talking to Lan Zhan's soul-twin. He must feel similarly, wouldn't he? To feel love for both Wei Wuxian here, but the one from his world would be the one closest to his heart. What of the kiss then? A moment of weakness? His way of coping with his own Wei Wuxian being missing? Part of him wants to ask, if Lan Zhan would act the same if the circumstances were switched, but he can't quite bring himself to ask.

"Then... you're not mad?" he asks tentatively, stepping closer so he can wrap his arms around Lan Zhan's neck, resting his head on his shoulder.

[billowing]

He understands, and it's partially the reason he hadn't said anything to Wei Ying even though it pained his soul twin for him to keep quiet. But he won't risk losing this Wei Ying, won't risk sowing seeds of doubt into his mind. "If I am angry at anyone, it is myself and the other Wangji."

He reaches for Wei Ying's hair, carding his fingers through, kissing his crown, holding him tightly.

"He did not ask you," he explains. Even if he thought that Wei Ying assumed that it was alright to kiss the other Lan Wangji, he should have at least asked first, talked to him about it.

And, okay, it's not like he asked the first time he'd kissed Wei Ying, but he'd waited there so long that he'd thought he might qi deviate if he had to stay there any longer without kissing him. He makes no comment over why he's mad at himself.

[sadflutenoises]

Understanding why Lan Zhan would be upset with his other self isn't difficult. But when he says he's angry at himself too, Wei Wuxian huffs out a sigh, unwilling to move, now that most of this has been settled. Lan Zhan's fingers running through his hair feels too good, and he's weak to these little shows of affection.

"Why yourself? You haven't done anything, Lan Zhan. You can't get upset with yourself over hypotheticals," he shakes his head faintly, amused, as he holds him a little tighter.

"Well, no, but... Why? You think you would have done the same?"

Was that it? If so, wasn't it all the more reason to be lenient with his other self?

[billowing]

He shakes his head. "If you disappeared, I would wait for you." But he should probably explain some more... "The other Wei Ying asked the other Wangji if it was alright that." Well, this is the most awkward thing he's had to say. This is where, if he was writing this, he'd have an accidental dot. "That he loves me."

A beat. "I think that has given Wangji the wrong impression about what we have done. And of the extent of what you and I have discussed and permitted." So, kind of it's a little bit his fault. But the other two were just somewhere else in their relationship development, so they were just... fast.

Not that this Lan Wangji waited at all to jump straight into marriage from sex from a kiss, all without even having made a single confession - they were just all out of sorts, these two. Perhaps they should have stuck to the order of events that generally happened, that have been proven to work for most couples. But they are also not most couples.

He expects now that Wei Ying has leeway to be the one who is a little mad.

[sadflutenoises]

Wei Wuxian was trying to make it make sense, really. But he also just wanted to let Lan Zhan play with his hair and maybe drink enough to forget some of the last few days. He squeezes Lan Zhan a little tighter, hearing he would wait for him though, and coming from a ma who's waited the better part of two decades, he can't help feeling there's plenty of weight to it.

The rest was... okay maybe he couldn't blame his other self for loving every Lan Wangji he saw, but that didn't mean he didn't feel a twinge of jealousy thinking about it.

"So he thought you already... with... the other Wei Wuxian?"

Kissed? He meant kissed, right? But if he'd reacted more favorably to the other Lan Zhan's impromptu kiss, would it have led somewhere else from there? And...

It's not like it was an unheard of practice; Jin Guangshan sat on the far other end of things, married and still flaunting all the other women he bedded. When he'd considered Lan Zhan as his soulmate, then, it was because he didn't think there was another soul who knew his own so well, and he hoped the same was true in return. But if the other who loved him was... well... also him?

Could he really say something like, I want you to look at only me, when he'd not even realized the other Lan Zhan saw no issue in pursuing him just as readily as the one from his world? He wasn't sure he could even bring himself to ask whether anything had happened between Lan Zhan and the other version of Wei Wuxian. Partly worried to hear the answer, and partly because he could feel the weight of his own hypocrisy in even asking.

"Why did you have to be so perfect?" he mumbles into Lan Zhan's shoulder, "of course he loves you."

[billowing]

When he says "with" the other Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji winces just the slightest. Which is a lot, because he didn't even wince when Lan Qiren beat him with the punishment stick. And Wei Ying knows exactly how much that one hurt.

It really wasn't an unheard of practice at all, particularly in Qinghe - Mingjue and Huaisang were half-brothers after all, but as far as Wangji knew, their mothers got along just fine, because as long as both boys were cared for and in high standing, neither passed up for the other's ambitions (and Nie Huaisang was, by his nature, neither ambitious nor competitive with his brother), and their mothers had nothing to quibble about. It wasn't like with Jin Guangshan, who ignored his sons, who forgot his daughters' existences, who made his own bastard son bear the title of "Guang" just so that he could not compete with those in his actual generation who bore the title of "Zi" instead.

There was, of course, nothing of the sort for the Lans and the Jiangs. Marriage was one of the most important relationships for Lans, superseded only by a relationship between a parent and a child, or that of a sibling. Even then, Lan An had chosen his love over his cultivation, over the entire sect, in the end. And so, extramarital affairs were not really a thing in the Cloud Recesses. And so, it would pain him to hurt the other Wei Ying, but if they did not want to reach an understanding the way the Nies do, then all four of them already knew their choices.

Wei Ying doesn't even seem to be mad, or jealous, or anything, and Lan Wangji feels relieved. He has his hand in Wei Ying's hair, and it's not like he can read Wei Ying's mind, but he knows it must weigh on his heart. And so, after a brief pause, he says: "Mm. But we have an agreement to be strictly friendly, since you, and the other me, did not know." And therefore, couldn't have a say. Because, when was he supposed to bring this up?

He does suddenly grow serious, as he says: "Wei Ying. If something is to happen to me here... I want them to take care of you." He doesn't want Wei Ying to have to be alone. And when Lan Wangji had left for those few days and he didn't feel right inviting the other Wei Ying to come stay in Cloud Recesses with them to be less lonely, it made him feel terrible. So he wants Wei Ying to know, in that case, he would be alright if he'd want to go live in the other Cloud Recesses, or the other Lotus Pier.

[sadflutenoises]

He's not sure he likes the answer, not having known, and he's glad Lan Zhan can't see his face, because it's feeling awful thin and ugly, he's sure, with the pang of jealousy he keeps trying to push down. That whatever that was, it was enough for his other self and his Lan Wangji to need to have an agreement about it. Not that he has much room to talk, since he's pretty sure kissing someone on the mouth falls outside the strictly friendly agreement between the other two.

It's hard to be objective, to consider how he might feel if he hadn't been kissed by Lan Zhan's soul-twin. Would they change? Would he feel more justified in his defense? He likes to think he could think of it logically, but he's not entirely sure he'd have been able to. Besides, he'd pushed Lan Zhan away so many times before, how would he not enjoy the comfort of one who clearly wanted him? Who professed his feelings so easily? He was lucky Lan Zhan hadn't given up on him entirely.

He's about to open his mouth to say as much, when the tone of Lan Zhan's voice changes, and it's enough for Wei Wuxian to pull back, if only so he can study Lan Zhan's face. His hands come up to cover Lan Wangji's mouth, and he shakes his head.

"Stop, stop, that's not going to happen," he insists, and if there's a crack to the last of those words as his throat feels tight, he swallows it down, faintly red-rimmed eyes searching Lan Zhan's large golden ones.

"Nothing is going to happen to you, I won't- I won't let it," he finishes weakly, knowing full-well how powerless they are here, how easily suppressed. It doesn't mean he won't fight tooth and nail to keep anything from harming Lan Wangji; there has to be a way.

[billowing]

He knows Wei Ying means the best, but here, there are no guarantees. Who knows what they might have lost. Who knows if they might have lost the other Wei Ying. At least the two of them have a track record of returning from their graves, even if it takes a long time.

Lan Wangji would not have such a fate.

And if they were on the opposite sides, if he had been hanging off a cliff with Wei Ying holding onto him for dear life, if someone had come to jostle the rock, and he thought that Wei Ying might fall, he too would have wrested out of his grasp, and fallen with grace to his death.

He will not pull Wei Ying into a second grave.

And yet, there is no sense in telling Wei Ying the truth, in insisting on it. As long as he's received the message: that Lan Wangji always wants for him to be cared for, that he wishes for him to never be alone, to carry on, to find happiness. Not to waste away, not to pine after a dead man, as he had.

Carefully, he lowers Wei Ying's hands from his mouth, and holds them in his. "Wei Ying..." He thinks of nothing better to say, and leans in to kiss the corner of his eyes, a reassuring, comforting gesture.

[sadflutenoises]

If he hadn't already experienced being at the top, only to start all over again with nothing, he would find this place maddening. He still did, at times, if he was honest. The powerlessness and the frustration that follows are difficult feelings to overcome, but in the end, just stepping stones on the way to finding another way. There's always another way, he tells himself.

"We're going to get out, together," he insists, even as Lan Zhan leans in to kiss him. If nothing else, he is stubbornly resolute in his goals, unwilling to bend so long as he's fighting for a worthy cause. So many times it has meant putting aside his own feelings, his own power, his own pride, whatever it took. And he'd do it here too, if he had to, but the difference was that he had a selfish stake in it as well. His own happiness is tied so intrinsically to Lan Zhan's, he can't possibly sacrifice one without the other. For perhaps the first time in his life, his own survival is starting to play a factor in his decisions.

[billowing]

He knows that Wei Ying had had to start over again from nothing several times - as a child, as a young teen taking care of an entire clan's worth of women and children, and then once again after taking Mo Xuanyu's body.

When Wei Ying tells him this, in this way, it lets him know that he might not have made all the right decisions in his life, but this was among them. He holds Wei Ying's face in his hands and then pulls him into an embrace; without the wings and without the scales that are against his cheek, Wangji would feel completely normal.

It's not like he consciously wants to leave Wei Ying - if it were up to him, they would have had these last sixteen years together. If it were up to him, they'd have married at home, and he'd have come to live with him at the Cloud Recesses, and they would've already fought through all the things young couples fight through, and made up a hundred times, and both really understood what forever might be like.

"We won't talk about it anymore," he promises.

[sadflutenoises]

It seems silly, carrying on a conversation so close they can feel one another's breath on their skin, but he can't bring himself to step away, enjoying this small comfort too much. He can feel Lan Zhan's body heat, everywhere they touch, and if he thinks Wei Wuxian is put off by the changes to his appearance, he's absolutely mistaken.

"Lan Zhan, I know I make it hard to get a word in sometimes, and... I can't tell you how to feel or anything, but I don't want you to ever feel like you can't talk to me, you know?" Wei Wuxian's eyes flick up to meet Lan Wangji's inhuman golden ones without flinching. He knows it's two-faced to ask that and not give the same in return, but he's trying. At least, it feels that way. And the number of secrets between them seems to be diminishing. Besides, that's been at the heart of it, every time, hasn't it? Trying to guess at what's in the other's heart, rather than speaking it clearly.

"But," he smiles, a hand resting softly on Lan Zhan's neck, thumb stroking the curve of his jaw, "there are things I'd much rather be talking about."

He presses a kiss to the corner of Lan Zhan's lips, "like how handsome my husband is. And how much I want to kiss him right now."

[billowing]

He is expecting that Wei Ying will tolerate his appearance, but he isn't expecting that Wei Ying would find him attractive like this, enough to be wanting to tell him these things like how handsome he is.

"You shouldn't hold back," he answers, hands at Wei Ying's hips, getting in his space, breathing in his air. "If you want to kiss your husband." He feels a little bit strange, being here like this, when the other Lan Wangji is missing his Wei Ying. But he is a dragon, and he's feeling emotional, and Wei Ying is so close to him...

He wonders idly, if Wei Ying were a demon as well, what sort of demon he would be. Perhaps a fox, with nine long tails.

[sadflutenoises]

"Mm, then I won't."

It's reassuring, just hearing Lan Zhan's encouragement. He hadn't realized just how many things had been weighing heavily on him until they all came spilling out. He doesn't hesitate, given the opportunity, pressing in close before capturing his lips. He teases, as ever, tongue sliding over the seam of his mouth, teeth nibbling on a plush lower lip.

The feel of scales beneath his fingers is strange, but only serves to fuel Wei Wuxian's limitless curiosity, tracing them with his fingertips before they slip into his hairline. Just how far do those scales go beneath his robes? How do those wings attach? Can he feel it, if Wei Wuxian were to touch them?

[billowing]

He's a little sensitive about the scales, but it's mostly because he finds them a little aberrant, and with it also came the removal of his belly button and some other vital body parts that he didn't think he ever wanted to live without.

The scales go pretty far down, and despite what it may seem like, they're warm to touch. Not very much harder than his skin, more like a snake than a fish.

He blinks, and his golden eyes take up his whole sclera, his pupils going from large to slit-like immediately. What is Wei Ying thinking, he wonders. "Are you hungry?" he asks. "Or should we head back home?"

[sadflutenoises]

It's hard not to be disappointed, when Lan Zhan doesn't reciprocate the kiss. He'd been so spirited and affectionate when Wei Wuxian had returned, but perhaps the conversation has dimmed his enthusiasm.

"Oh, ah..." he can't help noticing the way those odd, golden eyes move, or the suddenly slitted appearance they take on. Is it in reaction to something?

Taking the question at face-value, he supposes he hasn't eaten since earlier today, when they'd planned their attempt to use that keycode they'd been given. His stomach hasn't started rumbling yet, so he shakes his head.

"Are you?" he takes a half-step back, studying Lan Zhan and how this form affected his familiar expressions.

"Probably good to make ourselves scarce for a while, after all of that."