HAPPY HEARTS LOGS

THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT

Does anything in this hotel ever stay put? Those who go looking for the gym, the hotel spa, or the nightclub are out of luck one day, as they're simply no longer there. The hallways themselves go topsy-turvy, only staying put when one looks directly at them. For those who've been here long enough to have seen the last time the hotel shifted like this and remember how unhelpful the hotel staff were — it seems little there has changed. The only difference is the manner in which they are useless. They will acknowledge the shifting hallways, of course, and even provide direction back to the lobby, but profess they are much too busy to provide an escort.

Eventually, the hallways settle. Gone are The Caucus-Race, the Pearls Within, and the Rabbit Hole in favor of new amenities. Where once there was a gym, there's now an indoor playground. The nightclub has been replaced with an arcade, and the spa is now a massive movie theater. Were there always quite so many kids items on the restaurant menus? When did This Elegant Thimble get such a large children's section?

If asked, the hotel staff will shrug. Some will insist things have been this way for as long as they've been working there. Others will state that, like their wonderful Queen, the hotel will always know what's needed for any occasion and make suitable preparations.

ONLY, MY SECRET'S MINE, AND I WON'T TELL

The garden may no longer be available upon return to the hotel, but there is still a bustle of energy. How fortunate all the Oysters are, to reside in such a renowned place! It's a great honor for those in Wonderland to be granted opportunity to teach their skills or ply their trade here, and the Queen permits only the best. Hotel staff themselves seem to delight in the presence of the traveling merchants. Many trade teas or favors for enchanted items, and will eagerly discuss their purchases. "Oh, it happens regularly enough," they will say if asked, "but you never know if the merchant you liked or the item you eyed will be back next time!"

The talk lingers after the guest instructors and merchants have departed, but it isn't the only thing left behind. Glimmers of green may catch your eye, tucked away in hidden places that seem almost impossible to reach without drawing attention to yourself. Those who manage it will find a scrap of heavy paper with a drawing of a stylized caterpillar, a series of numbers, and the words call a friend.

Are you curious enough to input the numbers into your Empathy? It will ring, if you do, until an answering machine picks up and asks a single question — How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail? Do you dare leave a message? What will it be? Whatever you decide, the call will disconnect after a few minutes. It seems the only thing you can do now is wait for a call back.

But of course, the hotel is not in the habit of allowing such a thing as idle waiting. Her Royal Highness has noticed that some of her beloved Oysters seem quite reluctant to partake of the many splendors that the hotel provides, and she will be offering a special treat — indulgence.

AND STOOD AWHILE IN THOUGHT

What an unfortunate time to be short-staffed, when there's so much to do! For days, staff members can be seen bustling about, always on the move. No time to stop and talk — the Queen is preparing a surprise! Staff members seem to positively hum with excitement. Their numbers are replenished in fits and bursts. Groups of new hotel staff appear all at once, until there seems to be even more of them than there were before the disappearances.

They don't seem to understand who you're talking about, if you ask about those disappearances. "Staff turnover happens in every establishment, dear. Why — they might have even gotten a promotion!" Aren't you much more interested in the upcoming trip, anyway?

Now that there are more of them, staff members are eager to expand on the surprise. Oh, to see the gardens and the forest! You Oysters are so fortunate that the Queen wishes to show you the wonders of Wonderland. Of course, the forest can be dangerous — or is it only rumors? The opinion seems to change with every staff member you talk to, and no one can pin down why it might be dangerous. The only consensus seems to be to stay close to your escorts.

And most importantly: please remember the buddy system at all times.